Party one. We arrived early because my mom had volunteered to bring food to the party, so upon arriving, food was being brought out on trays and in bowls, and man did it look good. Giant fruit salads, big bowls of every salad you could imagine, homemade mac and cheese, sugar cookies from a bakery, everything delicious! Everything smelled SO good! To me, everything smells that much better when I am hungry. Like food usually always smells good, but when I am hungry, man it just smells absolutely delightful, and so much more enticing! As tempting as the smells were, I was able to hold out until I got in the car to leave, and fortunately the good Lord had my back, and my salad was satisfying enough to defeat the temptation. Party one... check!
Party two. Most Christians say that Satan becomes strongest when we are drawing closest to the Lord and trying to do our absolute best to seek after the Lord and what He has planned for us. I have to say... I couldn't agree more. As I am participating in this fast, I am not merely doing it just to do it, and just to realize how fortunate I am to have such incredible meals every day and experience an increased appreciation for the food I eat each day, or to experience what it feels like to be hungry, or what it is slightly like for someone who doesn't have the food options that I do, but I am doing it to break myself down. I want to break down my dependence so that all I have left to depend on is the Lord. It may sound silly, but I depend on food, and whether or not you want to admit it, you probably do to. That is not to slam anyone, by any means, it is just the absolute truth. Until you take most of it away, you don't realize how much you depend on something. Its like taking away a pacifier from a baby. It is like a security blanket that we run to because we know it is always there. Well this, for me, has become a problem, because I have come to the realization that God wants to be my security blanket. Even though I think those other things are always there and I can depend on them, truth is, they may not be one time. What the Lord gives, He can also take away, but one thing He won't take away is His presence in our lives, and that is the ultimate security blanket. The Lord is teaching me that He wants me to depend on Him alone and nothing else, and this fast is truly helping me to figure that out. Anyway, going back to the party. So, my mom and I arrive at party two to find out that it is being catered by a local barbecue joint... ARE YA KIDDIN' ME?!?!!? Seriously, Satan was gettin' his boxing gloves on and he was prepared to fight, because barbecue is my ALL TIME favorite type of food. Pulled pork, barbecue chicken, baked beans, corn bread, OH MY GOSH! So delicious! The smells were incredible, and I hadn't had barbecue in a very long time, and suddenly the salad didn't seem to feel so satisfying anymore.
As I looked around at all the people with their heaping plates of food, just chowing down, I struggled. I knew I wasn't hungry, but you know that feeling you get when you're not necessarily hungry, but see something you love and begin to crave it and your stomach begins to sound like a groaning cow? Well, that's how my stomach felt. I wanted that food so bad. The real struggle came when a couple of people asked me why I wasn't eating anything. Let me tell you, when you are hungry, and when there is your FAVORITE food sitting right in front of you being all tempting and stuff, it is extremely hard to clear your mind and heart and humbly explain the reason as to why you're not eating. Throughout this journey so far, the Lord has also taught me a lot about humility. I think it is SO incredibly easy to get caught up in pride and be boastful when fasting, because it is something that requires self-discipline, but the key to that self-discipline is the reliance on the Lord. That is the catch right there. When I catch myself being boastful or caught up in my own pride about participating in a 7 month long fast, God quickly reminds me that this is not about me, and all of the self-discipline I have comes from Him, because there is NO way I could do it on my own. Self-discipline for 7 months requires a power much greater than any power I will EVER have, and the Lord has shown me that so very clearly. So, with the help of the good Lord, I was able to defeat temptation of my ALL TIME FAVORITE food, and present the fast in a way that will glorify the Lord, and hopefully at least encourage others to think about trying something similar.
So, as I embrace day 8 and enjoy reflecting upon what the Lord taught me on day 7, I write with a thankful and humble heart. The Lord is SO very faithful. You will most likely see that line in every single one of my posts, because when all other words fail to get the message across, that message and truth will always remain. The Lord is SO very faithful. Have a wonderful day and incredibly blessed week!
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